Porni

The lonely-hearts column of an invented county weekly

The Column

Personal ads, Tillerton County. Forty words each, and a portrait beside every one. Read, then circle one and write back.

9 ads in this edition · Show them all

Box 538AIat her desk Shirin Daneshvar Livestock auctioneer, 49. I can sell a bull in nine seconds and I know when you are bluffing. Opening bid: one honest evening. Seeking a person who raises a hand only when they mean it. All sales final. Inspect before purchase. I will. Shirin, 49, Sale Barn Road Circle this ad Box 483AIat her desk Dolores Ketterman Court reporter, 36. Thirteen years of sworn testimony at 260 words a minute. I remember exactly what you said. Seeking a person who means it or a very entertaining liar. Shorthand taught for good behavior. Red wine is admissible. Strike that last part. Dolores, 36, Quarry Hill Circle this ad Box 352AIat her desk Marisol Aguilar I run the Tillerton grain elevator, 39, and a hundred trucks in harvest week. Punctual people only. I decide quickly. Seeking someone who pushes back with evidence and is on time doing it. Yes, the pig is back. No, I do not know who. Marisol, 39, Elevator Row Circle this ad Box 564AIat her desk Wanda Krol Long-haul, 55, two million safe miles, home on weekends and sometimes not. Good listener by CB and by necessity. Seeking somebody to write to from Amarillo and to find on the porch come Saturday. Must tolerate dogs, diesel and early-morning opinions about America. Wanda, 55, Route 9 Crossing Circle this ad Box 326AIat her desk Odessa Greer Bookmobile driver, 27. Forty-one stops, one bad clutch. I can tell you who you are from your overdue list and I will. Seeking a reader who finishes things, or admits it. Letters over ten lines get answered first. Margin notes considered intimate. Odessa, 27, Pell Junction Circle this ad Box 456AIat her desk Nadine Ferro Own the Junction Diner, 47. Open at five, closed to nonsense. Have been married, unmarried, and audited. Seeking someone who tips, eats the crust, and can take being told the truth at the counter. Prior applicants may reapply. They know who they are. Nadine, 47, Junction Flats Circle this ad Box 379AIat her desk Linh Pham County road engineer, 41. Quiet in person. Better on paper. I know where every culvert in this county goes and why the Route 9 bridge keeps closing. Seeking someone patient enough to read a long letter and ask about the footnotes. Linh, 41, Fennimore Circle this ad Box 512AIat her desk Anjali Kurien Morning voice of KTLR 92.1, 38. Up at 3:30, hog prices by five, funny by six. Everyone in the county knows my voice and nobody knows my face. Seeking one listener who writes back. I may read your letter on air. Probably not. Anjali, 38, Fennimore Heights Circle this ad Box 404AIat her desk Bernadette Kowal Piano tuner, 34. Perfect pitch, imperfect record. I have been in every parlor in the county and heard what the walls heard. Once walked out of a very good summer and would like a word about it. Seeking the ear that remembers. Bernadette, 34, St. Olaf Mills Circle this ad